So for myself only, and that is all my post will explain, I've ripped every cd i ever had (never had vinyl so not an issue) into ALAC and FLAC files (did both cause why not).
Then I just let itunes deal with keeping them up to date. I also generally purchase music from itunes or amazon and just dump it into itunes in general for syncing. Itunes radio is also passable for discovering new songs so streaming works ok.
For video, to be honest I have 2 that I have on my phone right now. One is the original star trek remake movie as I wanted to see what an itunes movie was like. The rest are just a bunch of ripped via handbrake dvd files on my nas server.
As to vlc being a pita to setup for streaming, my annoyance with it is in regards to setting up ftp, or http to get it to stream video files that I honestly can't be bothered to convert just so that I can play them on my iphone. I managed to get things working but the amount of effort was quite ludicrous to the point that i'd rather just use ffmpeg and convert the file manually then dump it into itunes to sync it. VLC on ios is not very useful.
My main issue with vlc is that it can't mount the existing afp (or nfs for that matter) share that my fileserver has for all my video files. And setting up transcoding to mp4 just made me realize that there are better uses of my time than dealing with such piddly issues. I'd rather be learning rust for example than dealing with streaming/transcoding issues to my phone.
I'll look at the three apps you mentioned, but overall the music app in particular works for my use cases. The video app is also, ok enough for me not to hate it. But I generally just download some videos and then dump them onto my phone for playback when in a line and then immediately delete them. I'm a pretty basic user in that regard.