I don't want to overstep the bounds of a semi-anonymous comment thread, but some of the language you are using, and your choice of user name, has me concerned about your more immediate plans.

In the course of a very public failure and a long depressive phase I wound up in a mental facility for a few days. It's taken a long, miserable time to get back. I did not have the same stressors that you do, and the details of my situation are going to be very different than yours, but if you would just like to have a conversation with someone tonight, please feel free to get in touch. No judgment, no life-affirming advice, just that I would be very glad to hear what you have to say and to talk if you are up for it.

Email is in my profile, I'll keep checking it until pretty late. Good luck.