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"I worked for war companies in the past"

Exactly that.

And I'm fucking ashamed of myself for doing it, unlike the other 132000 employees who still work there.

I was naive to the point of being stupid.

Thank you for having the integrity to not try to justify the time you spent and the money you made by enabling these madmen.

I admire your intellectual honesty, you don't see it very often when it comes to criticizing one's own actions.