This is the real answer. You do not find time, you make it.
The biggest effect I've discovered is that you can only do one type of work for about 6 or max 8 hours a day. Then you need to switch to something else for the rest of the day. For instance, if your day is spent programming, then at the very least your side project should be in a different language. Better yet, if it can be something other than programming.
I'm also reminded of the studies that document that routinely exceeding a 40 hour week causes reduced productivity (IGDA "Why Crunch Mode Doesn't Work"), and that 40 hours was based on assembly-line work and the corresponding number for creative work is probably 35 hours max leads me to think it's just not possible to have a side project without interfering with your main job to some degree.
So yes, I've gladly given up TV and movies and gaming, but that still doesn't seem to make a side project feasible, which is really sad.
[1] http://andrewoneverything.com/post/43544648479/i-dont-have-e...
tv clearly sucks, tho, and the main point here is that i'm surprised to hear someone equate time spent watching tv with time spent reading or exercising.
Either his kids are older or he has someone else doing most of the parent work.
I'm definitely trying to get more exercise as at this point I feel that might be the best way to approach the problem.
The 2nd thing I did to increase my motivation to actually do anything was to buy a big dry erase board and post my goals for this year. It's out in the living room, fully visible to anyone. That way I don't look like a fool for not doing anything :)
One thing I've almost stopped doing is just watching TV. Actually TV completely. I do watch documentaries from netflix and youtube on tablet while exercise-biking, washing-dishes, folding laundry etc.
I have a full time job (40 hours per week), 3 kids under 10 and a side consulting job that takes from 15 to 20 hours per week where I make about an extra $80k per year on top of my full time gig.
I also take my 3 kids to their basketball games, karate, cheerleading, baseball, soccer, lego mindstorms club, etc and help them practice each of their sports at home, help them with homework, etc. In fact I recently attended a Parent University for 3 nights of 2 hour sessions to learn modeling with Singapore Math so I could help them with that homework.
What do I avoid? TV, movies, other media consumption. I think of myself as a producer, not a consumer. I also don't have any hobbies beyond the one I've loved since I was 10 years old - computers. It just so happens I can make a lot of money with my hobby.
Contrary to your assertion, it's very possible to have 3 young children and work 55-60 hours per week and do a lot of the parenting work.
20h kid time a week. Not too shabby.
Now i need this 20h a week 80k a year consulting gig of yours.
I think that's a little bit different (at least in my experience) to working on a side-project where you have your own deadlines (and can thus break them), having little guarantee of making anything for your time, and can more easily make the decision to rest one night when you're exhausted rather than keep pushing forward with the uncertainty.
Yup: you're right. There's constantly stuff that needs to be done. My kids are between 4-11. So we're out of diapers and potty training (which is huge).
I just keep finding spaces where I can create: early mornings, late at night, or during my lunch hour.
I answered this below, but basically every weekday between 5:30pm-8:30pm is family time (dinner, chores, bedtime routine). After that, I might try to build something if I have energy. Otherwise, I try to go to sleep. Weekends: wake up early and work on projects in the morning. Rest of the day is usually family activities.
None of this is perfect. I definitely don't have a perfect routine, and I definitely have that "hard life stuff" too: http://justinjackson.ca/real-life/
Edit: I should mention that I get a lot of work done in "fits of inspiration." Meaning: if I can't sleep, and it's 1am I'll work until 4am if I'm energized.
5+ is a great time when they can actually survive by and entertain themselves; And, going to school during the day relieves pressure too.
My side project schedule is about the same except starting a little later. I also try to work on things during tiny breaks (5-20 min) e.g. the bus, a waiting room, etc; Most of this time is sketching some diagram/UI/schema. But I find it very frustrating.
My biggest downfall/problem is that I want to develop my own products and make money that way (and I am big into networking and selling), but I never focus on that. I've spent the last 3 years stuck in a never ending rut of contracting work for all of my side projects. The money is good, but it leaves me unsatisfied, and now I've been doing it long enough that I'm extremely burned out.
I'd wake up at 6, go to the gym for 2 hours. Be showered and ready to go to work by 9. In at work at 9:30. Out by 6-6:30. Home by 7. then I'd allow myself just 1 hour of TV while I made and ate dinner. so I'd start working on my stuff by 8:30-9. then I'd hit the sack at 12.
It added up, and I was able to get it all done and ready to go in 2 months. Unfortunately the investor flaked on us (shocking), and my partner wanted to go in a different direction. So I'm now stuck trying to do the pivot on my own, which is hard(er) because I don't have the Real estate license I need to complete the pivot.
Being married by itself is a huge drain on time, though maybe not as much as dating, there is more leeway given. However, throw in a toddler, and a small commute, and here's what my schedule looks like:
Up at 4:30am, leave for work at 5:30, get there at 6 am. Work until 3-3:30 or so, go home and (M/W/F: workout, T/Th: Occupational Therapy for Carpel Tunnel - done soon though), 4:30pm - off to pick up my son, 25-30 minute commute each way, spend 30 minutes chatting about his day with my parents who watch him, and get home about 6-6:20pm, cook dinner, wife gets off at 7, home at 7:30. Eat, give kiddo a bath, put him to bed. At this point it's about 8:30pm, Since I get up at 4:30, I tend to start winding down here and go to bed at 9 - and hopefully asleep by 9:30.
Tuesdays and Fridays are a bit better: Tuesday they drop him off, the wife is off Friday (4 10s) so when I get home and work out, I have a few hours I could blow. We usually watch our weekly movie here if the toddler "allows it", but I could work with the TV going (she wouldn't give it up).
Saturday and Sunday are my big work days for getting stuff done. I have to compete with my wife's attention since we don't see each other much all week, and I usually have a "honey do" list of things to do, but I put aside at least 2-3 hours each day for that. Add on watching the kid, doing grocery shopping, and my wife's social events, it often cuts into my time considerably.
Time doesn't fly when you get old so much as when you get married and have kids. ;)
Up at 4:30am, leave for work at 5:30
It takes me 15 minutes to get up, shower and prepare breakfast which I then eat in my car on the way to work (2 pieces of wheat toast). What do you do in this hour?
Also you realize that most people don't have things like occupational therapy for Carpal Tunnel taking up time in their day? (Incidentally, I "had" carpal tunnel for 2 years until someone on Slashdot told me about http://www.rsi.deas.harvard.edu/mb_what_is.html and I haven't had CT problems in 8 years, so just passing it along).
so when I get home and work out, I have a few hours I could blow. We usually watch our weekly movie here if the toddler "allows it"
Again, major time leakage. First, with three kids under 10, a full time job and a 15-20 hour per week side job I don't look at any time as "time I could blow". The concept of a "weekly movie" is completely foreign to me.
I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy wasting time on things like movies, but you shouldn't correct someone when they say that most people are capable of making the time if they shift their priorities around.
Yeah, there's time leakage, but not as much as you make it out to be.
Up at 4:30, ok, I hit snooze for 10 minutes once. I then sit and drink some coffee and look at hacker news. 15 minutes or so. I shave (my head too, I'm a baldy), do my morning business, and shower. That's about 20 minutes. I usually have some dishes from the night before that need cleaning, or a dishwasher that I empty.
Like I said, I could work during Movie time, but you know what, I love my wife and enjoy spending time with her. I also have other hobbies (seems you mentioned above that your work is your only hobby)
I also notice some of the other wifes don't work and take care of the house and kids. My wife works full time, and I'm a good husband that does my share around the house and and equal share raising the kid. Sure, I could push more on her and be selfish, but I'm not going to.
My only real time leakage is in the mornings (I like and feel I need time to wake up) and on Friday with a weekly movie. I don't really care that you think it's odd. 2 hours a week watching "TV" is so minimal people I know call me a freak. The fact that it seems alien to you to set aside time to relax and not think about anything says volumes about you (not necessarily bad things, mind you).
Thanks for the link. Looks a little, uh, suspect. My wife is a Physical Therapist though, I'll run it by her.
Edit: Link might not be relevant for me, only been doing OT for a couple months, before that had an EMG done and nerve damage was shown to exist.
Yeah, I had multiple EMGs done on both hands. Nerve damage in both. You know when you're doing an EMG and it is supposed to raise up super fast and then drop down super fast in a very thin inverted V? Well mine was a plateau of a couple inches wide, that's how much nerve damage I had.
It's been over 8 years since I've had a symptom of carpal tunnel syndrome though. I type 130 words per minute and probably type the equivalent of a novel per week (I do a lot of SEO stuff in my side gigs) and never have a problem.
If you really want to learn what's causing your problems - get Healing Back Pain by John Sarno or The Mindbody Prescription (same author). Check this 20/20 segment out from several years ago - I can't find the original Google Video version that I watched, this seems to be a substitute:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsR4wydiIBI
It's not "in your head". It's real physical problems. It's not "not applicable" to you because you have real physical issues that show up on tests.
Or, just ignore what I've said and carry on.
I feel a Neil Stephenson level discursive diversion coming on, complete with descriptions of the proper feel of toast on the roof of the mouth as the butter softens, but doesn't eliminate the sharp pointy bits, but it's late, and I should be paying attention to my wife while the kids manage to sleep.
(((Thank gnu that the kids sleep now. 7 years of one of them waking up every. single. night. gets very old. )))
I eat two pieces of toast in the morning for breakfast because I want to eat two pieces of toast in the morning for breakfast. Just like I haven't eaten red meat in 26 years because I don't like red meat. I am not starving myself, I am not sacrificing my tastes, I am eating exactly what I want to eat.
Should I list other things I enjoy doing that happen to be healthful that you can disparage?
Lunch breaks are great for side projects, even if you have to go work in your car in the parking lot, or the cafe down the street.
Also, if your commute is via or can be via public transportation, or a car pool, you can work on that.
See if you can get up at 4.30 on weekends as well. I bet your spouse and child don't, so it's an instant extra couple of hours.
Hope that helps.
Time is limited. You have to "spend" it wisely on stuff that's important to you. What do you spend your 4 hours of "free" time each night? Wife & Kids? Bar? Football? learning new languages? Every choice is made at the expense of other options.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opportunity_cost
Also... look in the couch cushions. I find lots of stuff there when I can't find something.
Although, I've found that setting a good foundation (having some goals, using inspiration wisely, and having a task system) really help as well.
We are great at keeping track of our money but very poor when it comes to keeping track of where and how we spend our time. Once you do you find out where & how you spend your time you will find opportunities. Always. Then optimize!
I remember years ago when I 1st decided to sell our TV and go TV-less. The best decision I ever made. It was like a massive block of free time opened up each day. Next was removing stuff that was not adding value and finally maximizing my time i.e. instead of sleeping on a commute I would review my GTD list etc.