IMHO, what differs from those people and the rest of us is their willingness to suffer it out until they succeed.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that you can work hard at something you don't like and become a legend. Find what you love, what you don't mind working hard at. Do that. If you want your work to be separate from your life, expect cognitive dissonance.
My advice, from life experience: Try everything. Do what feels natural. Give the relationship a try; if it falls apart, then continue with your work. Not everybody succeeds young. Not every girlfriend turns into a wife.
The good news is, they love what they do.
Live your life, be honest with yourself and others, work hard, everything else will take care of itself.
Then again, many people who don't want fame become famous anyway. Fame is hard to avoid.
The ones who did, most likely didn't suffer, because they were so focused on their work, that they didn't even notice the opportunity.