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If I was paying the cost of Harvard tuition, I would demand a free, hot breakfast. Borne aloft on a bed of feathers and myrrh by six naked, greased eunuchs.

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Greased? I'm afraid to ask how that adds to the experience.

I was more surprised by "eunuchs".

I would expect my breakfast to be borne by nymphs.

I would expect to be downvoted by eunuchs.

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