Ask HN: Depressed Engineer again needs help | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Depressed Engineer again needs help

7 pointsm_g_i6 comments

Almost a year back, I asked for suggestions because I was depressed (read here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5723330). I tried following advices which I got but that didn't help much. Other than a better role, nothing much has changed (no hikes for 2 years now). Now, I've kinda decided to move on. The only reason which stops me from moving on is I'm attached to the company and few colleagues whom I can call good friends. I'm very emotional guy and I can't let go things easily and it's difficult for me to move on (I had lot of fights with my girlfriend over this issue).

Friends and Family always believed in me and told me that I'm very good at what I do, but I know I'm a procrastinator (I've improved a lot though) and postpone things till the last moment (still I can get things done before the due date). I'm still depressed and can't focus on anything properly. I really need help!!!

P.S. I'm based in Bangalore, India and I'm open for remote job offers in startups. I've worked remotely, before. I'm a full-stack engineer.

OK. Now I actually read your old thread. My other advice still stands because if you address the feelings you're having it won't matter what your boss thinks... And being happier in your current position is actually going to put the manager at ease so they're comfortable promoting to the next level. Sucks but that's how companies work.

Tactically I would sit down with your supervisor and discuss what's troubling you, what you're trying to get out of your career and why you're not fulfilled. Then ask them what's expected of you to get promoted: is it time on the job, is it leadership on the team, is it technical achievement? What will make me stand out in this company on this team? There may be details that you don't know that are blocking your progress. If you aren't satisfied with the answers then ask around to see if other teams in that company are recruiting engineers. Don't make it a competition with your boss. Stay humble. Try to be positive about what your boss advises you. Then after the meeting just use the fact finding to decide where you want to put your effort.

I didn't read your previous thread so this might be repetitive but talk to a physician about medication that could help. You think you are depressed. That's a good start to fix something if there's a problem, but there might be a chemical component to the way you're feeling. It's not uncommon for creative people to feel the way you're feeling so this is a perfect place to discuss :)

What do you mean, when you say "I am depressed"? You mean the clinical/medical term described on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood) ? If so, go to a psychiatrist immediately!

But if you just mean you are unhappy with your current situation, I would say (like the advice you already got) talk to your boss. Did you do that? If you are a procrastinator, why not start a side project you feel passionate about. Apparently you can work fast, so I would suggest doing more (like side projects or learn new programming stuff). Seems silly advice maybe, but I think it might help you. But, if you really don't like your job, don't stay just because you like the company or the colleagues. You can see the colleagues after work and in weekends.

You can read all self-help advice in the world regarding procrastination. You can create lists, mark "X"s on calendars, prioritize, promodo or whatever but in the end, the motivation has to come from within. To draw a perfect analogy, I read a post about how one guy suffering from heroin abuse, one day just decided to quit seeing the company he was in. You can join the best de-addiction center but still the motivation to quit has to come from within.

See the problem is just in getting started, once you start and get excited with small success you can beat the "instant gratification monkey". There is no magic solution to procrastination I am afraid. Believe me, I have learned it the hard way. You have to learn to prioritize things in life. Do you want to be one of those middle-aged fatso who regret everyday of their life?

Doctor, doctor, doctor: you need a psychiatrist, and I hope you find a good one. And give yourself TIME to get better. progressively. Hope it gets OK.

I was depressed for years and supplements, specifically omega 3 fatty acids, plus therapy cured me of my depression

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