I know you're being facetious, but it's not an unreasonable point. All attempts to create a pavement cafe culture here in the UK have failed, 24-hr licensing to serve alcohol turned out to be a mistake. The British simply don't drink in the same way as the Italians. We like pubs, not bars or cafes-that-serve-wine.
You might as well write an article wondering why you can't bring an American "spring break" drinking culture to France...