> when talking to them I often feel all they're doing is telling me how right I am to feel in such and such way, frequently highlighting the differences between "us" and "them", whoever "them" might be, whenever the opportunity arise. (I suppose you'd call that 'gossip').

It's called "emotional validation", and widely acknowledged as something that women are notoriously keen on and men are notoriously bad at providing.

http://www.womensweb.in/2012/04/validating-feelings-expressi...

Or, in a satirical manner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg