And yes I would just tell him "In order for me to stay here, I need X Y and Z."
Just be humble and matter of fact. If you think you deserve equity but the cap table can't support it, ask for the equivalent in bonus. However it sounds like you want an ownership stake at some level based on the level of input you give.
It's hard to start something from nothing and maybe he doesn't value you as an entrepreneur spirit and thinks you are a happy wage slave, and is just testing you spirit here. If you are that important to his growth, and you are willing to walk away - things might change very fast. Or perhaps you work a cog really well, need lots of org support around you to function and don't think that well on your own - and that is why he is toying with you. Or he's just a stupid founder, but if he's that successful, probably not.