Note that caching and branch prediction and the like make "constant time" implementations almost impossible.
Note that caching and branch prediction and the like make "constant time" implementations almost impossible.
Caching is equally unlikely to play a role. You're probably thinking of DJB's timing attacks on AES (http://cr.yp.to/antiforgery/cachetiming-20050414.pdf), but that attack resolves around the timing of S-box lookups in which the index of the lookup is key-dependent. In the constant-time algorithm proposed by Nate Lawson and others, the only array lookup is the incremented value of a for loop (i.e., constant-time). The other operations are XOR and OR, both of which are constant-time.
Branch prediction doesn't come into play because a constant-time comparison doesn't involve conditionals until all the data has been compared.
A constant-time implementation of AES? Hard. A constant-time implementation of an array comparison? Dead simple.
Not sure why you're so resistant to the idea.