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Comment by msluyter | Hacker News Reader

Anecdotal support: I once dated a girl who really wanted to learn to partner dance. She dragged me to ballroom lessons, and then swing, and then lindy hop. I was mildly enthusiastic at best, but I got pretty good at it. At some point -- after we had broken up, ironically -- something clicked, and I got really into it, eventually competing and teaching dance classes for several years.

This is the moral I also take away from "Stumbling on Happiness:" we're really bad at predicting what will make us happy.

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When you're single the incentives for being good at partner dancing are considerably higher than when you're securely in a relationship.

I went the opposite direction - from being a fanatical swing dancer while I was single to being completely uninterested in it after I met my wife. It was purely instrumental, in other words. And I saw the same pattern repeated with the majority of swing dancers both male and female. As soon as they were hooked up, it was see-ya.

Perhaps that's true in general, but all I can say is that wasn't true in my case. I had several relationships after becoming fanatical about it, and never stopped dancing.

That's not true in my experience. I've been partner dancing for about 6 years and that's where I met my girlfriend of the past 5 years. We still dance every chance we get (we have a portable dance floor in our apartment). It's absolutely wonderful that we have something that we can learn and excel at together.

I have seen some people meet while learning to partner dance and quit, however. Not because they "bagged a good one" per se, but because some couples think that they're only allowed to dance together (which can get boring no matter how you slice it) and have a difficult time accommodating each other in the learning process.

Very good point. Rings true for me and my wife, I'm sad to say.

This would make a good nature video on PBS.

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