I've recently begun digging into Haskell; it has a lot of interesting and novel features. However, I can't get over it's syntax. It often uses non-alphanumeric characters in place of function names. Many functions are poorly named, e.g., `elem` vs Python's `in`. I strongly prefer the more natural English style syntax; even when you know a language well, it reads faster. That being said, Haskell is awesome for numerous other reasons.

500 line functions are the devil, they're harder to read, test, modify, and reason about. They tend to encourage code that isn't DRY, or reusable. The only benefit they have is an almost always insignificant performance boost, at the cost of everything else.

Also magic isn't terrible if it's used in moderation, and it's well documented. Though it usually results in things being substantially harder to GREP.