You dump the house. The glaringly obvious best move in the story is to yield the deed to the house to the creditors, get bankruptcy protection for any deficiency, and use your former mortgage payment on a smaller apartment and upgraded renter's insurance. You get rid of everything that doesn't help you make money or help you keep it, and keep everything that does until someone comes and takes it from you. Never eat the last of your seed corn.
The car is still worth more to them than any money they could get from selling it, and they didn't have to pay extra to keep it.
I wouldn't say "fuck you" for your suggestion, but I do think that it was ill-considered, and that a depressingly large number of people would agree that it was a good idea.
I am also curious to know if your mother was ever able to train the snake well enough to produce recognizable writing with it.