“So...what do you do?" | Hacker News Reader

“So...what do you do?"

liveandcode.com

42 pointsedw51945 comments

To some extent this will always be a problem with fields that require in-depth knowledge or expertise.

"What do you do?"

"I'm a mechanic / plumber / electrician / etc."

"Oh."

The problem is, that's not a useful answer, unless the person knows at least something about the field. "I make websites" picks the most general and vague answer possible, and therefore the least interesting.

Compare

"I fix mechanical devices"

with

"I fix and restore vintage American cars from the 60's."

"I make websites"

with

"You know all those stupid quiz apps on Facebook/fart apps on iPhone? Well, I don't make those, but I try to make more useful stuff on Facebook/iPhone, like X, Y and Z".

Of course, "I make payroll software" will probably never be interesting, but "I make payroll software for this media giant you must've heard about, you know their shows A and B?", or "for this financial company, man last year was tough", or "for this small company you've never heard of, they're working on interesting trend foo".

The point of the question - other than to fit you in a stereotype - is to find some common ground to talk about. Work with the question, not against it.

>"You know all those stupid quiz apps on Facebook/fart apps on iPhone? Well, I don't make those, but I try to make more useful stuff on Facebook/iPhone, like X, Y and Z".

Hey...I like that! Let's see if it works for me...

Me: "You know all those bickering nerds who draw the same webcomic about two roommates obsessed with video games, a talking appliance and/or robot, a pet who wants to take over the world, and slacker/stoner Jesus? Yeah. I don't make those comics."

Whoa. It works! Thanks. :)

yes yes yes

Keep in mind that most people don't really care much about what you exactly do. They are starting a conversation. They are being friendly. Don't get all existential on them and feel like you have to justify your life. You are only going to come off as an insecure whiny neurotic if you go off on a monologue.

Exactly.

Social exchanges aren't graded test questions. You don't need to be perfectly accurate or precise. Best to keep things high level so the conversation only goes to the level of depth in a topic that the participants are all interested in.

As a stereotypical socially stunted geek, I was late in figuring that out. And it still takes effort to practice.

E.g. Initially I had my whole 'conversation is a pathfinding problem through a social graph of interests' theory typed out in this comment. And that's far too much, too fast.

I would have expected a social elevator pitch to be a no brainer for a bunch of entrepreneurial hackers.

I actually love having this question at my current job.

"So, what do you do?"

"Well, have you seen 'Terminator'?

"Yeah, of course."

"Well, I'm helping to write SkyNet"

It's actually not too far from accurate since one of my contracts is for AI defense of space assets :-D

I often encounter not-so-technical folks and usually go with "I do computer stuff". The response is usually, "Oh, cool. something else blaa blaa"

> The response is usually, "Oh, cool. my computer has been doing this funny thing for the past month and I can't figure it out, would you mind taking a look at it?"

Fixed your response.

Is there a tactful way of saying, "No, I do my computer stuff for a living, and these are my rates"?

A doctor and a lawyer are at a party and someone comes up to the doctor saying "I have this small problem that ..."

The doctor answers curtly, tactfully, as politely as possible, finally getting rid of them, then turns back to the lawyer and says "I hate that. Do you have the same problem with people constantly harrassing you?"

"Yes," said the lawyer. The doctor replied "What do you do?"

"I give them short, simple but accurate advice, and then the following day I send them a bill for my time charged at my usual rates."

"Fantastic!" said the doctor. "I'll try that."

The next day the doctor gets an invoice from the lawyer ...

Haha, so true and reminds me of this xkcd post: http://xkcd.com/627/

"Sorry, I don't know much about that. I'm just a programmer!"

I once had this kind of response from a lawyer when I told him what I did. I said to him that if you needed a criminal lawyer you wouldn't ask a intellectual property lawyer you met at a party to help out. I could see him thinking about fees.

"Fixed your response"?

Is this reddit?

I find that really rude.

It was a joke, but it was also the truth.

That sounds pretty good, actually. It's neither self-deprecating nor self-aggrandizing, and provides just enough information to satisfy the demands of the conversation if the person doesn't care about computer stuff, and enough to start a conversation if they do.

No, it's incredibly condescending and leaves no opening for further questioning. What sort of response could a non-technical person have to that question: "So uh... how's that going then?".

I can't believe that everyone here is so well versed in delivering the elevator pitch for their new iPhone Web 2.0 social scrapbooking app but can't describe what they do succinctly in a social context. Is it that hard to say "I write software for [insert type(s) of clients/employer] that [insert function of software]"? People have seen The Matrix, they know what a computer programmer is. If you say "I do computer stuff", you deserve to have them ask you to fix theirs because it's one of 3 possible ways to respond to that statement.

i like this option b/c appeases the people just making small talk but still leaves an opening for tech types to ask for more details

I spin electrons into a shimmering digital tapestry of logic.

I build stories of circumstances and choreograph virtual states.

I contrast cohesion and coupling against a binary backdrop.

I weave algorithms into patterns of recursive fancy.

I am a programmer, I am an artist. I create.

So... What do you do?

I just tell people "I make stuff", and then if they're interested in details I tell them.

I much prefer lazy evaluation.

total shocker, but I have a sense of pride being a programmer, ESPECIALLY in social circumstances.

When asked what I do, I say "I'm a programmer and do freelance web development on the side" - Most of the time that's followed up with "Oh, so you know computers? Can you fix mine?"

But I've never felt like a social outcast, and to my knowledge have not been treated like one. That part comes when people find out I'm not interested in sports, hunting or nascar.

Where do you live that not being into hunting marks you as an outcast? That sounds so alien and interesting to a SoCal resident like myself...

Texas, even in the DFW Metroplex it's a pretty common activity for the good ol' boys.

On that note, I know a lot of people who do seasonal hunting as a means of very inexpensively keep meat in the freezer for an entire year, the amount of money it saves is amazing.

I really love getting this question. I'm pretty young so I've only had a couple jobs and am now a student, but answers I've given to this:

- "I keep our analysts from investing in evil companies by making sure all the info from NGOs/ratings are at their fingertips. When they're gonna buy evil, the screen turns RED." Go on to say why it's awesome because investing in The Good actually gives decent returns, etc.

- "I build a crazy anime fusion of Facebook and Zelda on cellphones for Japanese kids." Go on to explain why it's awesome because you make tools for these kids and they go nuts building themselves characters and really it's all a way for shy people to meet each other in a culture that makes it hard.

- "I'm trying to figure out what the cells in your brain say to each other, and how we can talk to them." Whip out iPhone to show picture of Brainbow mouse. Talk about the guys curing blindness with CCD cameras and electrodes.

(And try not to burst out laughing when they start talking about The Secret or how they can control the future because of -gasp!- Quantum Physics)

The point is that ... if you really like what you're doing, it's because there's something cool about it. And probably not just a little cool, but seriously, deeply cool. If you believe in it (and don't feel bored by the question) then that'll come across, and people will be genuinely interested.

Also - I try to make up a slightly new variation of the answer every time. It's a fun game for me, and it keeps me from looking/feeling like I'm giving out a canned line.

Really, it's all about confidence in the delivery. When people ask "what do you do?" they're looking for a stereotype to fit you into. Take the opportunity to show them how they might be wrong.

I tie shoelaces ...

http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm

... fold T-shirts...

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-fold-a-t-shirt-in-2-seco...

... and when I've got their attention, explain to kids why there's useful math in there.

I don't have this problem actually - I can always explain well enough what I do and (in most cases) get people a little interested or at least impressed.

For example, when I get asked that, I first say I do web development and tell them what that actually us. Something like "You know how there are some websites that are just text and don't do anything, but some websites are like facebook where there's stuff you can do, like make friends, post comments etc? Well, I just write websites that "do stuff".

Then, if I'm talking about work I would mention I work for a derivatives broker (if they are not interested at least they'll be impressed), while if I'm talking about my hobby work (http://phonalyzr.com) I tell them all the cool stuff your call log can tell them. And everybody understands a history of calls, top callers etc.

Anyway, I don't do this quite on purpose. I guess it helps I genuinely like what I do and get a bit excited about it.

This is a basic "elevator pitch" problem. Distill the core of what you find exciting in what you do down to a one or two line explanation that others can relate to.

If you can't do that, perhaps question whether you're really all that excited about what you're doing? :)

"I make computers go fast."

If they bite, I'm happy to talk about it. If not, conversation moves on.

My tried-and-true variation on that is "I make computers dance."

Yep, I never look forward to being asked that question.

"I work for a social services startup that indexes mental health service providers into an easy to find format for end users."

Blank stare

"It's like an online directory."

Oh Ok

Try an explanation that doesn't make you sound like a marketing drone.

"social services startup" -> "company" "end users" -> "people" "indexes into an easy to find format" -> "helps find"

"I work for a company that helps people find mental health service providers"

Then a couple sentences about how the existing tools fail and how you're trying to improve them.

Thanks, that's helpful.

There is nothing wrong with saying, "I make websites."

If the person you are talking to is interested, they will ask for more detail. If not, nothing you could possibly embellish it with would matter to them anyway.

me -- "I work with engineering applications for company X." them -- "So you work with computers?" me -- " sigh Yes." them -- "I'm having a problem with my computer/application/phone/iPod, can you fix it for me?"

This happens all the time. If I elaborate any further their eyes glaze over. If I just say computers, the assume I'm driving the Geek Squad VW.

No one is propositioning my other friends for their services (accountant, doctor, etc). I've contemplated just telling people I assemble prosthetic limbs.

"(And by the way, if you’re making money doing something you have absolutely no passion for, you might want to try and fix that. Just sayin’.)"

What if making money is your passion?

If making money is your passion, the you are making money doing your passion, then you seem to be doing alright...

Basically, believe in yourself and others will. If not, who cares.

"I’m a massive nerd, basically – I program computers and make websites for people"

I think the problem is the way he says it not necessarily what he does. I mean why start with "I’m a massive nerd, basically". Some guy with and MBA isn't going to start out by saying "I'm a dumb jock" and then continue to describe their work as "I sit on my ass all day and micro manage my employees". With this guys social skills I suspect he could make him self look like a boring tool no matter what his job was.

"I'm a computer guy"

Anything more specific causes eye glaze.

Every time I come up with something that seems clever, about 6 minutes later it just seems stupid. Some of my answers:

  "I turn data into dollars."  (sounds like a bad infomercial)
  "I turn data into value." (sounds like bad corporatespeak)
  "I move ones and zeros."  (sounds like pointless nerdism)
  "I shlep ones and zeros."  (sounds like pointless New York nerdism)
  "I convert chocolate and soda into software." (getting a little closer)
  "I'm a computer programmer."  (Oh)

What do you actually do? Some kind of data mining? There's far better ways to get that across.

"I believe that what I do is interesting, important, and valuable." "[M]y job description becomes distilled to 'I make websites.'"

I'm fairly sure an accountant who goes bouldering in British Columbia will introduce him/herself as an outdoor sportsman before mentioning that they have the dullest job in the world.

Just sayin'.

Back when I worked as a programmer at a hedge fund, I would reply:

"I teach computers how to steal money within the law."

It's accurate. Sounds badass. And the ladies get enticed by the aura of mystery around it.

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