As someone who has had, what sounds like a very similar experience to yours, I understand and feel your pain. Folks who have never had to deal with it think it's as simple as going to the doctor. Folks who live in SV tend to forget that in the vast majority of the rest of this country, good mental health help is really hard to get. Outside of the major US cities, your typical family doctor has about the same level of understanding of mental health issues as he has about quantum physics, but he thinks he knows everything he needs to about it. And the vast majority of Mental Healthcare professionals require a referral from your PCP or they won't take you as a patient. The scenario typically goes like this: I go see my Primary Care Physician and complain about depression or some other mental health issue. He listens for a couple of minutes then wants to prescribe zoloft (or celexa or whatever). I ask about seeing a Psychiatrist and get something like "well, he's just going to have his intern ask you a bunch of questions then prescribe the same drug I would..." I ask about seeing a Psychologist, and after some pushing he grudgingly gives me a referral. The psychologist is a really bad fit with me, and isn't helping so now I've got a open-ended prescription for zoloft and no fucking help. Been thru slight variations of the same theme with 3 different primary care doctors. And no, I don't really think any of them believed I actually had a problem, but they'll give endless supplies of zoloft et al., to anyone, for any reason. And they'll happily prescribe it for you forever, without also setting you up with some form of counseling, which is specifically warned against in the drug literature.
What I finally had to do, was talk to a close friend who knows a lot of Mental Health practitioners, partly from using their services, partly from the fact this guy knows everyone in town. He was able to call a friend who is a retired Psychiatrist, who was able to help find someone who would take me without a referral, and further refer me to a good psychologist. There's also the issue that most insurance plans have pretty crappy coverage for this stuff. And since I can't get an in-network referral to an in-network doctor, I'll be paying for most of this out of pocket.
My advice, for the little it's worth, is first... Don't Give Up. It's a fucking absurd pain in the ass, but it is possible to overcome. Think about finding a doctor the same way you would about hiring an employee, that's basically what you're doing. Use your social network, do you know anyone who is in a high-risk group for depression or other mental health issues? It's likely you know someone who has struggled with this and just never said anything. Ask around. It sucks to have to reveal yourself that way, but it's really not as bad as it seems in one's imagination. You will probably be surprised how many people not only get it, but want to help. Try a doctor out, if he isn't working, fire his ass and get another. No different than hiring a contractor. It's easy to load a lot of emotion into the process, but avoid doing this and stick to business. And try not to get sucked into the psychiatry vs psychology wanking contest. They're different approaches, have different tools, and different efficacies for different issues. CBT is great for moderate depression. There's much less evidence it's helpful for ADHD. There's a whole class of medication that's quite effective for ADHD. There's much less evidence that zoloft and friends are useful long term for depression. Extrapolate that out for all the other possible mental health issue a person might have.
At any rate, you're not alone, my friend, and you're not the only one who has had to go thru this shit. It is possible... Email is in my profile, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. Best of luck.