What HR Professionals Look For in a Programmer's Resume

I think this mostly proves that while HR people may not be idiots as big as we feared, they're bigger idiots than we hoped.

Sorry to say this.

     HR Professionals Look For a Highly Qualified Wage Slave in a Programmer's Resume.

In my experience it's rare to come across a "HR professional" who knows anything about tech. Now that's not to say they're necessarily dumb; said "professional" could know, I dunno, gender discrimination legislation like the backs of their hands. But expecting HR to take any active role in selection of technical people is unlikely to improve the quality of the candidates you interview. The most they can do is the same as they'd do for all employees (e.g. checking references).

Also here's my tip: someone who describes themselves as a programmer or a sysadmin is likely to be a can-do type. Someone who calls themselves an "IT professional" is likely to be the sort who spends half his day drawing UML diagrams and the other half in meetings. Wonder if that's true for "HR professionals" too.

The title suggests parody (see http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=537000), but the domain confirms corporate earnestness.

What do HR amateurs look for?