>"Was that a knock on proxima nova? ;)"

No, not at all! --I'm not particularly bright and I love warm weather, so it sounds like fun to be in the general proximity of a nova. ;)

I hope I wasn't too critical? Writing replies to "Show HN" posts can be tough to balance since the intended goal is to get/give useful feedback.

As for fine-tuning your messaging, you're in uncharted waters with an entirely new concept. It will take some effort and time (and A/B testing), but keep at it and you'll get there.