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You could connect all of your VMs to it via ipsec or openvpn and have your own little private network.

Unfortunately, you can't. IPSEC isn't enabled by default in the FreeBSD kernel.

You can build a customized kernel.

Yes, but you can use custom kernels with FreeBSD on DO. In the comments:

"FreeBSD droplets do allow you to customize your kernel. Unlike other droplets these boot from the kernel within their filesystem. This is the reason that FreeBSD is not available in NYC1, NYC2, and AMS1 as these regions do not yet support this option."

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