Well sorry but you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

I very much work in "big data" with about 2 terabytes of new data coming in every day that has to be ingested and processed with hundreds of jobs running against them. The data needs to be queryable via an SQL like language and analyzed by a dozen data scientists using R or Map Reduce.

There isn't anything on the market today that has been proven to work in environments like this and has the tooling to back it up. Unless you want to prove everyone e.g. Netflix, Linkedin, Spotify, Apple, Microsoft wrong ?