Comment by cheatsheet | Hacker News Reader

Comment by cheatsheet | Hacker News Reader

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I am sort of on the fence on this. On one hand, I do not like pursuing ignorance. On the other, I do not objectively know the difference between a mind that is repeatedly triggered by random noise that can immediately bring my mind back into a state of flipping between catatonia and hyper-stress/hyper-alert, and a mind that is able to control information flow and pursue it's goals (such as a phd and happiness in life).

I've been in recovery from realizing and recognizing the effects of my trauma for almost 4 years now. You talking about rape does not bring me back into the mental state it once did. But I don't know how I got here, besides through time (and sheer determination to be the best I can be, and not let my past haunt me). But that said, if you reminded me of my abuser, I don't think I could control my reaction so much. And hyper anxiety / reactive shutdown is not something that is easy to remove oneself from.

I think your attitude is very intelligent, but I think you need to add a little more empathetic wiggle room for things you may not understand entirely.

It's really not a black-and-white issue, so I think it's perfectly OK to be on the fence about it.

I might roll my eyes at the phrase "trigger warning" sometimes but on the other hand I recognize that the whole reason why this concept exists is because there are forms of abuse and violence that have been pervasive in our society all along, they've just been swept under the rug, their victims intimidated, silenced and shut out of the public discourse. It's not a reason to censor the media, but it also wouldn't kill us to have a little sensitivity when discussing these topics.

> I think you need to add a little more empathetic wiggle room for things you may not understand entirely.

You may be right that victims of trauma are not entirely understood. Even so, you seem to be suggesting that society _should_ "avoid provocative subjects entirely" and "pursue ignorance", as the parent puts it, to avoid upsetting victims of trauma. In the end, is that a strategy that will actually help any of us?

No, I'm not suggesting that. I'm in a forum talking about things related to my trauma, aren't I? Shouldn't that be triggering me into a horrible downward spiral, if I was suggesting this?

I got better. Some people are still in the process of getting better. I am asking for empathy and compassion for those people, if you have the capacity to recognize that they may need it. Otherwise, just do your best to be a decent human being.

I think what you're saying is compatible to what I meant to say. In my last sentence I was thinking later that "censoring" would have been a better word choice than "avoiding". If I'm in a social environment with a friend that I know has had a certain trauma, then of course I wouldn't have a problem with avoiding certain topics. But I wouldn't agree with censoring those general topics from a lecture (assuming the topics would be presented professionally and not flippantly).

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