Poof! There goes finite automata, and therefore regular expressions. :-)
Someone should go around sabotaging regular expression parsers and replacing them with PEGs:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parsing_expression_grammar
It is a crime against honest words to try to cram so much logic into so few characters.
I once was told that regular expressions were originally designed for creating AIs. The image I have in my mind is that of graduate students in a dungeon somewhere banging on type writers creating some sort of God box.