When I ask "why should I do this rather than that?", I either get a muddy explanation, or none at all.
Worse still is inconsistency. Just recently I was working on a project, went through several reviews without comment on the approach, was told "almost done just fix these tests". After waiting a week for review of those last tweaks, the review was "this is fundamentally flawed and shouldn't be done this way at all."
Now I'm not saying that's wrong, but it would have been better to hear that three weeks ago. Nor is the explanation of _why_ it's flawed the slightest bit clear.
Further, the new approach does _not_ support the business need motivating these changes in the first place. I am figuring out how to support that need within the directed approach, but it is harder than the first design would have been. Again, that doesn't mean I was right -- sometimes there are choices where you put the ugly stuff. These changes are pretty deep in our architecture, and so touch a lot of code. If being clean there means that some top-level stuff is more complicated, that is probably the right trade-off. But it would be nice to have a "sorry, I didn't think this through soon enough." And no, I am not the idiot I'm made out to be because I didn't, as a junior dev, immediately and fully understand how all the pieces should fit together.
Nor is this a two-way street. I've had moments where I've pointed out what seems like problems, been told I'm wrong, or ignored . . . and then find that the issue is quietly fixed a few days later. We do some stuff that is just flat wrong because that's how he likes it.
I'm not the only one, the others with more experience than I have similar problems.
I'm learning. The guy has good instincts, so his critiques usually lead in the right direction, so I roll with it and figure out the principles for myself. But it is absolutely zero fun working with this guy. I've become averse to submitting code for review, because I never know when the process will take 180 and stuff that was fine becomes crap. And while I think I'm getting better, I have to figure out how to build confidence in those skills, because I'm not going to get it from this feedback loop. Probably that will be working on my own projects, taking what I'm learning and using that to make them better. And at some point I'll move on.
Tough feedback, even insulting feedback, is ok with me. I'll work with it. But if you're going to be tough, then you have to be fair, you have to be clear, and you have to be right.