My point is, you should not be unjust to others. And you should not be unjust to yourself. But you need not pretend to appease others just because they expect it. This messes up the whole communication. You are hiding your real feelings. They loose opportunity to learn and grow up. Infact this is more serious in case where the communication is across different cultures. People can't read the unsaid stuff.

As a scoiety, we should learn to not get offended easily, not depend on kindness from others, or beg for regard. That's the strong and ideal society. That makes it easy to achieve great things, because we are not burdened by the task of checking if it hurts anyone's feelings and to modify our work to make everyone happy.

BTW, whether somneone is being ass or not, also depends on your own expectations and pampering.

Think again, about the roots of necessity for pleasing everyone.