Where do I find a place like this?
If I want to do this, what are my first steps?
Where do I find a place like this?
If I want to do this, what are my first steps?
The analogy I'd give is if I'd joined a 10 day fitness camp and the only instruction was "do deadlifts", and then you were left alone for 11 hours. What's a deadlift? Is this the right form? After an hour I feel like I've exhausted these muscles, do I really just keep doing it for ten more hours today?
After three days of this, (each day having a slightly more specific focus but still lacking in the kind of direction or confirmation I was looking for), I left. I was a stone's throw from the Himalayas, and I felt that spending my remaining time in the mountains would do more for me than sitting in a dark room feeling confused and frustrated.
I can't answer how to learn to meditate, I haven't followed it up (once burnt, twice shy). But you could try the vipasana way at home - sit in a quiet room and "feel the breath entering your nose" for an hour.
For something a bit easier that you can do at home, check out this self guided course: http://palousemindfulness.com/selfguidedMBSR_week1.html
When I was starting out I especially liked Shinzen Young's [2] teaching style a lot. He's been meditating for a long time, taught math and comparative religions at a university, and he does an excellent job of presenting Eastern meditation in a way that an educated Westerner can understand.
There are a lot of resources available online, but you might try poking around in the Something's Happening [3] radio archives for KPFK. Tuesday and Thursday night they play talks from Alan Watts, Shinzen Young, and a lot of other people. Some of the talks are extremely hokey, full of New Age gibberish, but some of them are really good and it's a good way to get exposed to a range of teachers. Go to the archive page and search for "Something's Happening" and give it a try. There's also an Alan Watts program that good, too.
[1] http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html [2] https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=shinzen+young [3] http://archive.kpfk.org/
I generally tend to fail magnificently at first and then flourish very quickly after making all the rookie mistakes all at once.
If you have questions, don't be afraid to use the question sessions to speak to your teacher. If it seems like the instructions are too simple, you might be overthinking it. It's all about letting go after all.