I agree with you on that. For a beginner I think a high level language is the wrong direction to go because it's taking them further away from the method of designing a HW solution. It's adding another layer of abstraction.
Two paths developed in parallel. One for those trying to boost their software with hardware generation. One for hardware designers trying to improve their own craft. And with the benefit that one's tools can integrate the other. Best of both worlds.
So, I look for both.
Unfortunately there is no infrastructure for you to build onto. It's like a blank slate. All the I/O needs to be done right. It's very seldom just instantiating wires unless your design is blazingly simple. And if it were simple you wouldn't need an FPGA in the first place. A generic coprocessor would kick most FPGAs butts.
Far as ASIC's, I'd just get HW people, haggle on the tools, use free one's if possible (see Qflow), and do a MPW run for prototyping/production. eASIC's 90nm maskless stuff, potentially. Start it on 180nm-350nm, though, as there's lots of cheap masks and fab capacity there.
Sounds good.
Cheap fab I am not sure whether the costs make sense. Depends on the project I guess. I don't have a lot of experience with those manufacturing processes.
For now, my preliminary answer is that people: (a) just use Altera and Xilinx HLS tools for FPGA because they're cheap and work well with their products; (b) use HLS tools from big three EDA companies on ASIC design; (c) straight up do HDL (majority probably) for ASIC as experienced HW engineers are used to doing anyway and use good RTL synthesis. Against the competition, there's no comparison of free/open synthesis tools except in price and subversion risk. Those are my reasons for investigating them, though, so I continue to get feedback on what I find.
Note: Not sure of your HW expertise. If you're not a HW person, I'll note that anything synthesized for ASIC's needs to have a rock-solid method because mistakes are expensive. Even older processes still cost hundreds of thousands for the masks that print an instance of a design. Production engineers are hesitant to use unproven technology when $$$ are on the line.