"They need to use the bathroom and eat."
You put food in a bowl and leave it on the floor. They eat it when they are hungry. It's quite simple...
Bathroom? If you feed them at the same time every day, the usually go to the bathroom at the same time every day. You build habits. They go out before you go to work, and then when you come home, they go out and relieve themselves.
There are also grass pads for smaller dogs that can be left inside the home.
These are not difficult problems.
"They make noise and destroy things"
If yours does, you have a sh*tty dog that probably isn't being taken care of correctly.
Most cared for dogs just sit around, sleep, and wait for their owners to get home.