SunlightEdge

We all read people to an extent. Behavioural signs will show to a degree their emotional state, their status, their attention and interest in you/the conversation. Combine it with how they use language and you get a good idea of how they think and how self aware they are. You can see if people monologue at you or if they are interested in turn taking. You can get a feel for how quickly people can grasp information, how relaxed/restless they are, how internal they are, how nice they are, how insecure they are, how aggressive they are etc.

I suppose I also look also for how real a person is. For example in a work setting some people are much more prone to wear masks and fake emotions and some people don't do that. I do try to factor in how much games playing some people do/don't do.

I do think some people are very good at reading others. And I also think that as we generally don't see ourselves we may not realise how we come across. There is a huge amount of information we send out by how we hold ourselves/talk etc.

Personally I think I am very good at reading people's internal state. But I also am aware that I can be wrong. Reading someone who is very quiet for example can be hard and more prone to error.

When I talk with someone I often do assess how much turn taking they do, particularly with a stranger. When I'm really engrossed in a conversation or I'm with a good friend I can sometimes turn off this assessment.

Final point - the article was a great read. I'd have been really interested in their views on gender differences in communication (there can be differences).

I don't think its black and white. I think sometimes success is a matter of luck. For example, in large organizations there can be a lot of roles generated where there isn't always that much direct pressure and people can be hired through luck (e.g. getting on with the boss, some types of diversity hires, being loyal to a company even if you are not that good etc.). If teams of people make products/reports etc. sometimes it can be hard to shine, and 'talkers' who don't contribute much can get promoted into a 'lucky' role. Its not black and white.

The budget option is just to go to settings and select "digital wellbeing and parental controls". You can set timers to block your apps after X amount of time. I've found it useful to block chrome on my phone after 30 minutes of activity.

You can of course 'hack' this setup by just switching off the setting or rewarding yourself another 10 minutes etc. but then you can do this with anything...

At the moment I am busting my ass to get ahead at work so that's my focus. But...

I have a 22 year old adult daughter (I had her when I was 19) - she didn't grow up with me (I did provide financial support) but I do feel connected to her. Its nice she exists. She's even finished college. I would though like to have 1-2 more children (I am 42 so its possible) ideally in the next 2 years.

I plan also, as a hobby, to make a 'social' boardgame. I hope one day it can be turned into a web application.

I would also like to write a blog / write stories.

When I'm retired I would like to help out with community stuff too.

I want to try and be useful and spread kindness till I'm gone. Other people are all we have.

Does AI/Robotics counter a lot of OPs arguments? AI in 50 years time could be totally mind blowing. And there could be all kinds of robots running around by then. I think the human population going down to 2-5 billion is a good thing.

To maybe offer a different perspective: I think the Canadian mortgages linked to Chinese accounts will likely all be paid. What may be happening is that there is a lot of underground chinese financial activity that is not recorded in Canada and part of this 'network' is utilized to get money out of china.

On a separate but related topic, I have heard that meditation can trigger/worsen epilepsy, but there is also counter evidence that it can reduce seizures. I find this link interesting - even if there is no definitive finding yet. Note: there are different types of meditation.

"No time to lose" a book by Pema Chodron. Its a translation and commentary of a Buddhist manuscript on basically how to become enlightened. I found the sections on how humans all suffer from past emotional memories (kleshnas) really interesting. As was the discussion on rage and forgiving people cruel to oneself. I followed it up with another of her books "when things fall apart". Again very good.

I'm now reading a Witcher fantasy novel. Blood of elves.

I think I'm an odd case, in that I did have "tinnitus" (a constant high pitched buzz in my right ear), along with a constant tension headache that resulted in me not getting any sleep. I was prescribed sleeping pills and then a visit to the neurologist said all my conditions were caused by anxiety. I actually didn't think I was anxious (I think it was the result of a bad night on cocaine). Err... Anyway, a large career break with lots of relaxation gave me relief from both my daily headaches and tennitus. I was doing lots of exercise and also drinking a lot of water mixed with corriander (I was convinced this would help to detox me for some reason). The tennitus went away after about 2 months and it took about a year to get away from the constant headaches. I haven't done class A drugs since... Probably not at all helpful, but I thought I'd share.

The prevalence of sugar in so many foods can't help.

Personally I avoid "sugary" food and drinks like the plague. I also don't snack and do regular exercise and sometimes don't eat dinner. I'm at a healthy weight in my 40s. How many adults that are obese have a healthy relationship with food and do regular exercise / fast? Obese children I have sympathy for, I'm uncertain how I feel about obese adults. I don't know if their metabolism is ultra slow, or they are just not taking care of themselves. Its complicated...

For quite a few Jews (and non-Jews) the term 'goyim' is offensive. https://www.summitdaily.com/news/goyim-is-a-derogatory-word-...

Regardless, Superman is a dull character/story

I'm in my early 40s. My way of having parties is through salsa/bachata events around London. There is always something on and most people are very friendly.

I also drop in on Improvisation sessions in and around London - full of friendly people. And before Covid I used to do workshops around Europe too. Again can get invited to lots of parties that way.

I think I could probably rock this out for another 10-15 years easy - so some people here may find this a good hack. You can of course find other people to enjoy hobbies with on 'meetup.com'

I'm happy in my own company - but I wouldn't know where to begin in organizing my own party. I've spent a lot of my life working on personal projects/working. I do know a lot of people, but I generally meet people one on one. It just seems like a lot of stress and effort to set up a social event - but I think that is because it not well suited to it. I respect men and women who have a natural talent for organising social events. IF I were immortal I might have the time, but honestly I find it more interesting to work on a problem.

At the same time, I do like people and did in my teenage years through to about 25 morn that I wasn't that popular. I really did want to be liked, as I liked other people. If I had my time back, I'd have done improvisation / salsa and bachata at this time too. I wonder sometimes if everyone should do them...

I think that temporary abstinence is worthwhile - because what will happen is you find new ways to fill that time. And those new things will really be what helps you move on ultimately. But yeah, you might relapse, it can be hard if you enjoy the activity a lot. But after you've had your fill it should be easier to walk away/ do another 28 days!

It helped me get off social media, and computer game addiction and a news site I didn't want to follow. I've used it successfully for alcohol too (but I was never a huge drinker). I also used it to try and promote good behaviours too

For addictions I've wanted to get rid of I have: 1. Keep a spreadsheet of the hours I have spent on the activity, or 2. Kept a running log of how many days I have not done the activity - goal is usually 28 days

Just to clarify - if I were to buy crypto again, I would buy from Coinbase.

I am not positive about the future of crypto though. And I said before it's also telling that I had to use a spreadsheet to look at how much I put in, fees, money lost etc. On Coinbase. Again I suspect it's because a lot of people are losing money and the owners want that information hidden.

Mmmm that's a reasonable point - I didn't mind paying fees for the coins, but I do think its a little iffy about fees to withdraw...

On another note, one thing about Coinbase that struck me, was that on the app/website it doesn't actually show you how much money you put in / what the return on your investment is (I used a spreadsheet to track my own investment "success").

I suspect Coinbase does not do this deliberately - as many, many people who invest in Crypto lose money and it doesn't want to highlight this point too much.

So I don't agree with your view here. The majority of my savings were in index funds which have done very well over the years. Dipping in to a high risk investment is I think perfectly reasonable. What would be insane is if I kept on investing - or continued to do so even now. But in the spirit of good will I will take the merits of your comment :)

Lol. I probably shouldn't but I find this quite funny.

I lost a little bit of money investing in crypto on Coinbase (I put about £500 in which shrank to £200 - over the course of past 2 years and for past year I mostly have just had money in sterling - the market looked terrible) I finally decided yesterday to cash out of coinbase yesterday - they charged me £3 to withdraw my money!! In the scheme of things I didn't lose that much money - not really. But personally I can't see myself getting back in when Bitcoin goes below 10,000 dollars (which I believe it will in 2023). I think Coinbase share price is heading to junk status. No wonder the employees were selling all their shares when it went public!

What helps me is: 1. I do at least one press-up a day everyday in the morning. I normally try and do 3 sets of alternate press-ups and squats, followed by 1 minute of plank. This routine is very do-able / easy, but has led to me feeling stronger.

2. I used to do improvisation 2-3 times a week, now I have switched to Bachata/Salsa 2-3 times a week. Socialising with others while moving gives so much to you.

3. I recognise 'prison' thinking - when I'm persecuting myself I realise this and do my best to stop it and send out love to what's on my mind. Forgiveness is the best cure for anger/revenge.

4. I rarely if ever meditate/chant - but once in a while I do this and I feel good about it. Its not for me as my main thing (see point 2 and 3), but I think it can have benefits.

5. Outside of work, I have a passion project

6. I am lucky to have a loving family and girlfriend

7. I find I make nearly all the effort with my "friends". But I only see them once in a while, and actually I don't mind it. And we have a good time when we meet up.

8. I do cut out of my life people who don't respect me as a person / are mean spirited. I have no time for jerks. Good people are always welcome. Seriously I have told some of my friends who invite me to events that I won't go, if a certain person is going as I find them extremely rude and I don't want to put up with their obnoxious behaviour (plenty of people have complained about him - he's extremely snarky and likes to put others down). I actually think its healthy to set boundaries on what I will put up with.

9. I sometimes go off to an art gallery/cinema by myself - life is a journey

How about we just continue to have robots colonize Mars? Just get increasingly sophisticated machines down there to build up the infrastructure. Maybe in 200 years they might have built some nice domes and have earth like gravity/atmosphere inside that animals and plants can be brought to Mars. And maybe then some humans might see it as an attractive destination.

In the mean time, we can colonize difficult places like under the ocean, the Sahara desert, Antarctica, maybe even the moon.

I will miss Z-Library... I hope it's alternatives are as good as it...

I linked it to an old email account of mine. Could there be repercussions if you downloaded books from that site? I probably downloaded at least 1k dollars worth of books. Only about half I ever went into.

Op here. I enjoyed your comment. This was the kind of discussion I was hoping to generate. There is a lot of nuance in this area, but is often filled with a lot of anger (from both sides) that makes discussion difficult.

Op here. So my arguement is looking more at fantasy TV/movies in general rather than a particular focus on lord of the rings per se. But it is part of a wider discussion on representation in the European fantasy genre. As you know, what I am arguing for is that, I think it would be good to continue to have some shows which are 'diverse' and other shows which follow a more tradional casting. Do both. My concern is that there is political/media pressure to push always for diverse castings in all European fantasy shows. And this could go against good storytelling.

If I'm watching a story about a Japanese Fantasy story - it will feel less immersive if you introduce a blonde character. Likewise with an Indian, or African story. Everyone would think this reasonable. What some people get upset about, is if we also say this about European fantasy stories. And I don't agree with this (the point that a tiny tiny fraction of people living in Europe may have been nonwhite in the 1400s and below I find mute quite frankly). I also find it... Not considerate to call someone racist for making this point. And quite frankly its a great example of where we are right now. Film and TV studios terrified in their casting decisions and feeling like they have to please the media etc. Nor am I convinced that global audiences want to see themselves in European fantasy stories. I don't want to see a blonde white guy (or black or Indian guy) in a Japanese Fantasy story etc. etc.

I do feel that including a multicultural diverse population in a European fantasy story does have a large risk of less immersion and I don't agree thats 'racist'. You can do it, but it's a different world and a different experience. What I'm arguing again, is fine do that. But not everything fantasy driven needs to be like that.

The lord of the rings trilogy was not diverse and quite frankly was astounding. Game of thrones was not diverse, and was astounding up to the final season.

The latter was savegly attacked by woke groups for not being diverse and I just so disagree with that view point.

Let's have diverse stories and let's have traditional too. There are lots of good fantasy stories by Western authors that do include diversity (fifth season, and Ursula la guin Wizard of the sea story etc.)

To be maybe controversial...

I'm still thinking about it, but I do wonder if diverse casting works in European fantasy stories. The problem I have is that it generally pulls me out of the experience/ makes it less immersive. I welcome diverse castings in modern shows (though we don't need every show to follow a template 'diverse' casting). A common counter argument is, well you can suspend your disbelief and imagine a dragon, so why is a diverse community in a small village not ok? It just feels less immersive. Yes, I can go along with it - but I'm not sure it works. It feels like the modern world superimposed in a fantasy setting. I'd prefer to be sent to an alien world.

It is problematic, as years of discrimination in the real world for women/ethnic minorities were wrong and we should encourage equality in the corporate world. However the entertainment industry I wonder should in some ways be exempt. Maybe. One area where there isnt a discussion on 'diversity' is music and also novels. This is because there are tons of tons of novels and music bands to listen to. No one cares if a particular band is 'diverse'. So I wonder if the only solution out of all of this, is to have more shows - yes, make diverse inclusive European fantasy shows, but also make traditional european fantasy shows too etc. What I think will happen is that in such a scenario most European fantasy fans will choose traditional like shows. Because the story is more immersive and you are brought more into this old world. Maybe. Like I say, I'm still undecided. For modern/futuristic films I find diverse castings just as immersive.

There is a zen buddhist saying "Be careful not to stink of zen". And it can apply both to Buddhism as practised in the west and the east. Its a slightly... provoking saying though, as it may offend other Buddhist practitioners.

Zen Buddhism (from Japan/China) can of course vary greatly from Theravada Buddhism (found in South and South-East Asia). However I would say, that there seems to me much more variety of Buddhist schools in zen Buddhism (Japan) and what they believe and practice than in Buddhism as practised in Thailand, Cambodia etc.

Buddhism is quite fluid even in Asia - but I do think that its right that the Buddhism that is in the west (mostly influenced from Japan zen schools - e.g. soto) came from a more idealised version than is practiced often in the east.

There was an article in the BBC a while back (can try and find if people want) that noted that Buddhism as practised in the west had issues as it promoted a 'cold selfish' side of Buddhism (it pointed to some studies of people that meditate feeling less guilty if they commited a crime). This differed from how its mostly used in Asia where compassion/karmic practice/social works and community are more encouraged.

Personally I wouldn't trust any Buddhist practice organized by a company - the stink of zen would likely be pretty unbearable

"The best heroic journey is not the story of an incredible person doing incredible things. It is the story of a flawed, ordinary person who—when called upon—rises to an incredible challenge and finds within themselves something truly extraordinary."

This is the main reason I don't like superhero films. There is no sense of danger or vulnerability. It's just people in fancy jumpsuits doing acrobats around explosions till they win the day. I prefer main characters dying / at severe risk of dying. Give me tragedy. Show me vulnerable people who grow and become stronger.

Growing up and the 80s and 90s in the UK (i.e. without internet) the two most exciting countries for foreign films was Japan and Hong Kong (apart from USA of course). I used to love them.

I'm not a movie expert, but it does feel like Hong Kong movies have nosedived in the years since it joined China. And is now a bit of a dead end. Police states aren't exactly conducive for creative expression. There's a lot of factors that could explain it but I do wonder how much regime change played a part.