Putting that aside, there might be some valid points in here: using Hash(IKM + nonce) to generate a key is probably not ideal, depending on what Hash is. That's generally a job for HKDF. The post also mentions a "non-approved KDF" elsewhere, but doesn't say what it is.
On the other hand, storing Hash(key) isn't immediately an issue unless something else in the scheme depends on Hash(key) being secret, but the post implies without justification that it's some sort of obvious error.
So there might well be some issues here, but this post doesn't provide sufficient detail to condemn login.gov out of hand.