Responding to problems with this article as they appear:
1. Coinbase buckling is a failure of a web application grappling with unprecedented load. Not with bitcoin.
2. The dark web mostly uses Monero, which would not exist without Bitcoin coming along first. Also the notion of a $65 fee on a $250 tx is ridiculous, not to mention a 24 hour wait time.
3. The existence of exchanges and dark web websites that allow you to convert fiat to bitcoin and facilitate trades (middlemen as the authors calls them) is a failure of Bitcoin? Building a centralized exchange/facilitator will ALWAYS come before a decentralized alternative because decentralized apps are hard.
4. Applications that provide immeasurable convenience at the cost of a little privacy and security are an inevitable step in the road towards a better system. This is the equivalent of RMS bemoaning the existence of Ubuntu because it uses a few propriety programs, when whatever free distro he recommends is straight out of 1992
5. "retains none of the exciting features"? Rapidly increasing prices does not remove the most innovative features (smart contracts, off-chain transactions, etc) of the crypto world. It accelerates them if anything by providing the capital to finance their development
Feel free to attack Bitcoin for its shortcomings, but don't act like things could have easily gone differently. Bitcoin still has tremendous potential for privacy, security, and everyday use --- if you get past the clickbait headlines.