What's wrong with Edge? I started using it when Chrome started eating my RAM, it's been mostly unobtrusive and unnoticed, like a good browser should be.
224 karma · joined May 22, 2014
Not strictly ethical I guess but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
As a 35 year old who's just had his first kids this makes me sad to read, it really feels like I'm past the age of good parties now.
Pre-covid we were having raucous times every weekend and now there's too much responsibility to imagine that again. And I'm probably getting towards the age where it'd be a bit sad to still do that anyway.
FWIW one place I've lived that seems to care little about age in the party scene is Madrid. Plenty of nights you're just as likely to be partying with 60 year olds as 25 year olds.
(Don't have much experience with it)
When I found out I didn't cry, nor did I really feel anything. Just the absence of feeling. Oddly enough, when my cousin called to tell me, I hung up, told my partner (who was very sad), then I went outside and fixed the broken clothesline out back. My uncle was a very handy man, and I figured fixing something was a good homage to him.
I felt weird and guilty about not really having any emotions, but I genuinely didn't feel sad or really any different.
Then my family did a little memorial thing over Zoom (our country was in a hard lockdown). We each shared a bit about my uncle, and.... I fucking lost it. I've never cried in front of my family like that before. And then as quick as it came on, it left. Now when I think about him I do feel sad and I miss him; I think my lack of feeling was a bit of a defence mechanism, and I needed an appropriate venue to let it out.
A gentle suggestion: Maybe you're not feeling anything because you're making yourself and your (lack of) feelings the centre of this. Grieving isn't about feeling bad, it's about honouring the person you lost and your relationship with them. The end goal isn't to cry or feel awful, that's not some pinnacle you reach or checkbox you get to tick as "GRIEVING: DONE".
I'd try talking to a psychologist about it, and just have a good chat. Talk about how you're frustrated that you're not feeling sad or grieving, and how that's making you feel guilty. Talk about why you feel like you SHOULD feel heavy emotions, because this person meant so much to you. Then focus on the person, on the impact they had on you, on the things you love about them and the things you think they loved about you. Move the conversation to being about the person you lost, not your lack of emotion - realise that this isn't about you, it's about the person you lost and your relationship with them, which is gone now.
(and congrats on the newborn!)
Fair enough mate.
We're financially stable (monthly mortgage is 3 days of earnings for me, have a good $100k in liquid savings and growing +15k/Mo at least), own car outright, have an extra ~$200k in the house, and have a good amount of free time at the moment.
Being mid-30s we're also pretty happy with where our lives are at, don't feel a huge pining to travel anymore, have fancy dinners, get boozed, do drugs etc. We've done all that, and being in various forms of lockdown for a year and a half has shown us that a lot of the things we used to value aren't that important to us anymore.
Are you a parent? How has your life changed? What have you had to give up?
One worth mentioning is the career stuff. I'm far less motivated by work than she is; for me, as a developer, I'm happy if I'm working in just about anything full-stack (React Native + some sorta backend), and I prefer working alone. So I could work on just about anything, so long as the pay is good. I also work best in afternoons and evenings (3pm -7pm are my deep work 'sweet spot' hours), so I already do a lot of housework / errands in the morning and during the day. I also enjoy this sorta thing; tidying, making coffees for both of us, doing the washing give me some weird spark of joy that we need to capitalise on! I do earn more money (I currently bill at $1k/day) so I'm in a pretty lucky position.
For her, she works amazingly well in a collaborative environment, and a lot of her best work is done through co-design. She gets so much from working in a values-driven company with great people. Because of this she's much more tied to 9 - 5 working hours.
She's highly energetic and throws a lot of herself into her work. I think part of her concern is that motherhood will destroy her body + her mind, and will make it impossible for her to get back into work.
Other concerns that we both have is her losing a lot of her identity through having kids. As she puts it: "I'm worried my body will never be truly mine ever again". She's also concerned about something we both saw a lot of with our parents in the 90s - mothers whose whole identity comes from having kids, who then get divorced and become quite lost. Women over 45 are at fastest growing group at risk of homelessness in Australia [1], I want to ensure her superannuation (retirement savings) is equal to mine at the very least.
I know we can't plan ahead for much of this, but we would like to find ways to make sure doesn't lose everything to childbirth, as well as ways for me to give the best contributions that I can.
[1]: https://theconversation.com/400-000-women-over-45-are-at-ris...
You can skew these examples to make your point stronger, too. (The Radio in the restaurant is listening to me!)
The only situation that matches is the exact one at hand: Facebook tracked user information in their share/like widgets. Is that ok under the law? It wouldn't surprise me if it was, but I don't I think the laws should be tightened up on this as well.
No brain can contain the exact right way to do x, y and z - and it needn't, because we have a magic box that we can ask and get great help when we need it.
IMO, being a developer isn't about being 100% amazing with your syntax or being able to recite the ES2015 spec by heart; it's about knowing what tools to use when.