The misogyny in the article's comments section is shocking and depressing.
925 karma · joined November 5, 2012
I think the answer to that question is: because you are not a working mother.
Sometimes it seems like men are used to being the default audience for everything (probably because for most things, they are), and are surprised when someone writes something without considering their perspective. You see this all the time with boys on Reddit; they are constantly shocked that some of the content there is submitted by women (even Hacker News is guilty of this on occasion).
Yes, you could benefit from some of the key points of this article, and yes the author does think of women as a group with unique interests.
That's because they ARE a group with different experiences. I tried to pretend this wasn't true for a long time, because it is quite inconvenient, but eventually I had to give up and admit it; our society holds women and men to different standards and expectations. I think women are much more likely to notice these differences and become frustrated by them (though not all will, of course). Gendered advertising, objectification, and media failing the Bechdel test are things I notice on a daily basis. It's not surprising to me that a woman would want to write about her experience as a working mother.
"She doesn't think to write about people, but only about women."
Women are people, my friend. It's ok for them to write about their unique experiences.
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I also just wrote a script to run retention analysis using Keen IO funnels, will share soon!
This doesn't represent the views of all women in tech. What happened to Adria could happen to any of us outspoken women. She didn't handle the situation perfectly, but there's no way she could have known this would unfold in this way. She said she didn't want the guy to get fired and apologized to him. I'm horrified by what happened to her and now afraid the same could happen to me.
None of us should have to be afraid that a tweet like that could get someone fired, provoke threats, or warrant attacks on our companies.
The nature of the attacks against Adria are EXTREMELY misogynistic (rape threats, death threats, people calling her a c_nt, b_tch, wh_re, etc) and many people have taken up a "burn her at the stake" mentality. They've also pulled into question her professional credibility and called her an affirmative action hire. They are saying this kind of behavior should be expected from someone with the domain "butyouragirl".
There is a simply an undue level of hatred for Adria which is correlated to her gender, I think in large part because she is an outspoken feminist.
I'm trying to be more outspoken about gender bias I encounter in the workplace, but incidents like this are a terrifying reminder of why that can be dangerous.
I'm not mad at Adria. The larger and more striking problem is how much hatred for women exists in this community and how threatening that feels.
If anything good came of this, it's that these biases are now coming to a head, right out in the open for all to see.
Misogyny is kind of like porn: "you know it when you see it". There is a simply an undue level of hatred for Adria which is correlated to her gender, I think in large part because she is an outspoken feminist.
A lot of people in this community would very much like outspoken feminists not to exist (check the comments here or on Reddit anytime a post about women in tech goes up).
Another way to look at it: I can't imagine this chain of events would have gone down if a man pointed out a lewd joke at a conference.
The whole thing really smells like a feminist backlash.
I'm trying to be more outspoken about gender bias I encounter in the workplace, but incidents like this are a terrifying reminder of why that can be dangerous.
A few months ago I posted about an inappropriate comment someone made to me at a hackathon and got lots of advice (on this forum) to publicly out and shame the person. Seeing that my company could have come under attack for that is a reminder of why it's dangerous for women to speak out.
It's unfair to assume Adria is "sheltered". In fact she has dealt with a great deal more than most of us, from domestic abuse to foster care. She has overcome immense barriers.
Please don't be quick to judge people as sheltered or oversensitive. Many people, or their loved ones, have experienced violence, abuse, sexism, racism, and other hardships that most of us couldn't imagine. What is offensive to one of us may not be obvious to the rest.
Adria is being physically threatened and having racial and misogynistic slurs thrown at her over this incident.
It breaks my heart to see so many rallying against her at a time when she really needs our support. Some truly horrific things are happening to her as a result of this tweet, whose consequences she could have never intended or imagined.
You don't have to agree with her views and her actions to agree that no one in our community deserves this.
As a result she has now been called a b_tch, c_nt, wh_re, n_gger, and an "affirmative action hire".
People are saying things like "someone with her sensitivity level should stay home and have babies".
People are saying she is privileged and has nothing to complain about (despite the fact that she is a victim of domestic abuse).
Is this how we should treat women when they speak out in public? Two months ago I mentioned some sexist remarks I got at a hackathon and this community told me to SPEAK OUT. Reveal the identity of the person. This tragedy is a good example of why that's scary.
It's hard enough to speak up when something makes you uncomfortable. Now it's terrifying.
No one deserves this kind of all-out character defamation because they thought a comment was inappropriate.
No one deserves to get fired for this kind of joke either.
Out of all of this I'm most shocked by how many people are OPENLY and PUBLICLY misogynistic and racist. It is a very sad day for our industry. Deep-seated resentments are being voiced loud and clear.
Look at the Reddit comments and Adria's twitter mentions if you want to see just how hateful people can be.
Learning something complex for the sake of leaning is appealing to some people, but not everyone. For some people, that first website can be very empowering. It can be a gateway to trying to solve increasingly complex problems with code.
What about the fact that we, as a society, are biased against women in technology (all of us, even women)? For example, tech resumes with a female name will be rated lower than that same resume with a male name. Not only in competence but in other categories like "bragging too much" or "how much you would like to work with this person".
How is starting pyladies "playing an under-represented" card? That implies it requires an "excuse". Women ARE underrepresented in technology.
Yes, women can legally join the tech industry, but we as a society can do a lot to make that easier. If you ask young girls their gender before they take a math test, their scores drop. Should we tell them to just get over it and do better at math? Bias is society-wide and can't be solved that simply.
One way to help is to support groups like PyLadies. Keep up the great work Selena!!