thatsamonad

True. However, hopefully that’s being mitigated through things like not allowing authors to review their own commits, not using the same accounts to push code changes and do deployments (i.e. having a read-only account for deployments), etc.

However, if it were an admin account that were breached that would definitely make it possible to circumvent any number of protections in place.

Sounds like the attackers did not have write access. From the original blog post:

> The account did not have permissions to modify any code or engineering systems and our investigation further confirmed no changes were made. These accounts were investigated and remediated.

I would also hope that direct commits don’t go immediately to a production system without some sort of review. At my workplace we have branch protections for all “main” branches that would result in a deployment. At least one other person has to review changes and all of our automated checks have to pass before anything can even get close to running through a deployment pipeline.

Though this is bad for Microsoft, does it make the situation substantially worse from a security perspective? Assuming they’re following good practices like not storing access keys, passwords, etc, in their source control system(s), this seems like more of an IP protection issue.

I could be wrong about that, though, and I’d be curious to learn and understand more.

I’m not the OP, but when I think of “systemic thinking” I think the focus is more on looking at all of the factors involved as part of a holistic model rather than placing blame at the feet of a particular individual or process. You can still identify causes and try to remediate them, but most of the time the remediation shouldn’t be something like “let’s fire Bob for making a mistake/error”, but rather, “Let’s look at all of the events that led up to Bob making that mistake and figure out how we can help him avoid it in the future through a system, process, or people change, or a combination therein”.

That being said, if someone is negligent and consistently does negligent things they should probably be put into a position where their negligence won’t cause catastrophic system failures or loss of life. Sometimes that does mean firing someone.

I think that statement is fair and part of the anxiety/depression I feel. I grew up in a family of poor drug addicts, so I've tied a lot of my notions about success and a "good" life to things like financial security and stability. I've mostly achieved those things but now I'm left with "bigger" questions about what my life means and how I can contribute to the world.

> To your last point, if it is possible for drug addicts and alcoholics to overcome decade long compulsive behavior, there is no reason you can’t too.

Agreed. It certainly feels impossible but I know rationally that it isn't. That being said, bridging the rational knowing vs the emotional feeling is always a challenge, especially with behaviors that are compulsive.

> One other thing worth mentioning is that you might be beating yourself up for not being productive in your spare time, which is particularly self defeating since the feeling of guilt will lead to more of the avoidance behavior

It's interesting that you mention this because I do carry a lot of guilt when I'm not working or learning something, which definitely tends to exacerbate the avoidant behavior and make me more likely to engage in it. I have a very hard time accepting that something like watching a movie, reading a (non-work) book, or playing a video game is "worthwhile", because it feels like it's not "productive". It's something I'm definitely working on, however.

Firstly, I’m glad you’re able to relate but I’m also sorry to hear you go through the same thing. I know from experience it can be incredibly painful and lonely at times.

> How do you exit from this state?

I wish I had a good answer for you. Most of the time I snap out of it through “brute force” by focusing my attention elsewhere. Building and doing things with my hands (like playing an instrument, cleaning around the house, or even playing with LEGO) seem to be the most effective ways for me to overcome it. Some days that works well, and other days I’m right back to my habits after just a few minutes.

Work is also a good distraction for me sometimes because I enjoy what I do, but I spend my day working in front of a screen so sometimes I wonder how much that helps vs hurts.

I think the most important thing I’ve done is just recognize when it’s happening, that way I can at least try to break the pattern. I mostly just take it one day at a time.

> Psychotherapy doesn’t help much, even though I plan on allowing more time for it, I know it takes time!

I’ve been in and out of therapy most of my life since I was a teen (I grew up in a toxic and abusive household so much of my focus has been recovering from that). Some of it has helped but for whatever reason it doesn’t always “stick” like I hope it would. I’ve also tried various medications but my “issues” seem deeply rooted, existential, and not easily overcome by a pill.

I truly hope you find something that works for you! I know it’s not easy but I try to stay optimistic that one day my efforts will prevail and something will give.

Something I’ve noticed about myself that’s related to this: I often go through intense periods of depression and anxiety with thoughts that center around a perceived lack of meaning in my life (i.e. wondering what the point of my life is despite it being “good” by most measures). One thing I notice about these periods is that I tend to “float” between stimuli such as YouTube videos, “fast” news articles, and even HN posts and comments, often feeling like I have no control over the behavior and I’m just having my brain hijacked repeatedly by something on my phone before I can even fully process the thought I was just having.

I’m curious to see if this approach might be a way to short-circuit that feeling so I can align my downtime activities more closely with my values and things that actually bring me meaning and joy. Sometimes it feels impossible, though, because I’m basically addicted to information by way of the internet. I’ve been using a computer since I was a child and I’m now in my mid-30s, so 30 years of behavior seems incredibly challenging to overcome.

Merry Xmas and Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope you all stay safe out there.

Here’s to hoping for a better year in 2021!

I’d be curious about this as well. I was on a medication previously that had a rare chance of causing Stevens-Johnson syndrome (very severe rash with other possible complications). I did some research on it, and the standard approach for the medication is to titrate patients up slowly, and if anyone has a serious reaction they back off to a lower dose and “rechallenge” with a good success rate.

Not sure if something like that is possible with the vaccine and patients who have an allergic reaction but I’d be curious to find out if a similar approach of “rechallenging” would work.

I don’t have the Solutions Architect certification but I do have the AWS Certified Developer certification. I learned quite a bit during the training and it did help me get a job, though it’s hard to quantify how much as I’ve also been in IT/IS for nearly 15 years which includes 10 years of software development experience. I also get contacted fairly regularly by recruiters who see I have the certification listed on LinkedIn.

Camus actively rejected labeling his work as “existentialism”. It only frequently gets lumped into that category because of his relationship/friendship with Sartre and de Beauvoir and because some of his work contains existentialist-like themes. He was more accepting of the term “absurdism” for his work. But his work never fully aligned with existentialist thought.

“The Plague” is typically read as an allegory of the French resistance to the Nazi invasion and occupation of France, and an analysis of the relationship that humans have with authoritarianism, fascism, and how we can either help or hurt each other in times of crisis. Camus was also a humanist and believed that people were more good than evil (which he comments on in “The Plague”).

Source: I got my university degree in Philosophy and Camus was my main subject of interest/study for a number of years (and continues to be even now).

I find myself almost in tears reading certain parts of the article. Growing up I was also the, “Smart, but lazy” kid, and my parents just told me I was a bad kid who needed more discipline. I always felt like my brain just worked differently and spent decades feeling fundamentally “broken” because I was just too “unmotivated” and didn’t have enough “will-power”. To this day I struggle with feeling inadequate because of the message I heard.

That being said, I’m fortunate in that I’ve worked with a therapist who saw the ADHD (along with PTSD) symptoms and put a name to them. They pointed out that I’d basically been self-medicating with caffeine since I was a young kid. Even just having the acknowledgment and having words put to it has made a huge difference for me. Now I know it’s not some moral failing and laziness. My brain is just different and I have to figure out ways to make it work (currently those ways are medication, writing, therapy, and some incorporation of Buddhist teachings in my life).

> EMDR

I’ve been undergoing EMDR treatment for PTSD and it is quite amazing how well it works. You wouldn’t expect that just watching something move back and forth in front of your face (or having an electric pulse alternate between your hands) in between talking about a traumatic experience would do much, but for me it’s been the most effective thing so far after trying many different kinds of therapy and medication.

I think what a lot of people need when it comes to depression/anxiety/trauma is not simply to feel better in short bursts, but rather to reframe and reprocess thoughts, feelings, and memories in such a way that they become easier to “hold” even if they don’t go away. A lot of our treatments focus on elimination rather than acceptance and reprocessing.

I think of it like short-term dieting vs lifestyle changes. The former may provide a quick fix, but the latter will usually be longer lasting, healthier, and easier to sustain after the initial push.

> people can self-medicate themselves in times of crisis.

I cringe reading that as a child of parents who spent their lives self-medicating through drugs and alcohol rather than seeking outside help...

> How many lives has that saved?

I don’t know how many it’s saved, but I can tell you that it’s severely damaged and nearly ruined the lives of at least a handful of innocent bystanders.

I’ve definitely learned that now after 10 years of development experience. But as a curious kid who didn’t just want to memorize and regurgitate it was quite a challenge. I’ve debated restarting mathematics all the way from basic algebra and geometry to see if I’d do any better these days.

I’ve heard this referred to as “drawbridge thinking” in cases where someone moves to an area, makes sure they have access to whatever they want, and then essentially pulls up the “drawbridge” and says, “No new outsiders allowed! It’s too crowded here!”. I feel like this is essentially what has happened in the Bay Area/SV. Though I live in Portland and it’s just as bad.

It’s such bullshit.

I go the route of Camus and absurdism:

Perhaps nothing matters, but I will carry on anyway because there is still a chance that something matters.

And really I just want to spite nihilism because it’s self-defeating.

> if I'm going to spend the next 20-30 years of my life doing this and filling it with hobbies that also don't have meaningful impact, why even bother.

I understand those thoughts and feelings because I have them myself. That being said, why do you feel like your hobbies also have to be meaningless or have no impact? Volunteering can be a hobby. So can doing something like coaching a kids’ sports team (if you like kids) or mentoring someone or something else along those lines. For me, my job is a way to help my family and other people who are way less fortunate than I am.

Also, and I know this is a “typical” response around here: Have you considered the idea that you may be suffering from depression? Most of the time when the, “why does this shit even matter” feelings hit me it’s because I’m hitting the depression stage of manic depression/bipolar.

I take Wellbutrin and Lamictal (a mood stabilizer) every single day for PTSD and I wouldn’t really be able to function without them. I really wouldn’t call myself or the psychiatrist who prescribed them irresponsible. I’d say it’s equally irresponsible to make a blanket statement about something that does actually help people in certain circumstances.

That being said, there are a number of GPs out there who prescribe things without fully understanding the consequences. I’ve always had a GP refer me to a psychiatrist for any mental health issues, however.