I would start with understanding how assets work. Buy Rich Dad Poor Dad - it's going to be extremely boring and annoying to read, but it's essential because most people truly don't understand how this works. Build up your assets so you have enough recurring income outside of salary to support your standard of living - then do a startup.
A couple of concrete examples of what an asset strategy is:
* An options strategy that helps you yield every so often (example - buying tobacco and alcohol options going into the recession hoping they will yield higher when people tend to drink and smoke more)
* A real estate strategy that minimizes money exchanged in-hand (example, looking at housing markets that are starting to become distressed, buying a foreclosed property, and then flipping it to someone else who would buy it for more but doesn't check the foreclosures listings)
^ There are many examples. It won't be quick money, but you need to get to a point where your assets are generating enough money for your marriage to not fall apart in the very likely scenario that you will fail starting your own company multiple times.
I want to say, I have no idea if this is actually the right sequencing of events for you, but it seems to be if quality of living is a top concern (which makes sense). If you want to maintain a standard of living while taking on massive risk, you need to hedge with a diversified asset portfolio that generates income for you outside of your job.