You clearly don't understand the US Constitution or existing US law. Saying it's cut-and-dry doesn't make it so.
> Information is either private or not
I'm sorry, I made a mistake. You don't understand privacy as a concept at all. Privacy is about access controls.
What's more all this frothing about privacy is not the issue under consideration. The issue is about extranational data being subject to US law because the legal entity in control of the data, is a US company. Other countries have similar requirements (Want to run a cloud service in China? Set up shop in a chinese data center, no AWS for you), and it makes sense to me as a nationalistic interest. What's more, you have these companies deflecting HARD "timeless values should endure. Privacy is a timeless value" which is a red flag. I don't care that the French have a firm grasp of privacy, this is a US issue. These companies are free to leave the US if they really believe this is wrong (they wont).