In Dutch high level youth chess it's usual for there to be a target score for the entire team based on the strength of the opposition that day (say the goal of that day is to score at least 6/10), and then _the entire team_ gets icecream or not depending.

Nah, I was 12. That's old enough to learn about failure in a fairly direct way. It was a good lesson and I'm glad my teacher stuck to it/

Sure, if I'd put up a good fight and lost because he was better, perhaps I'd be a bit sadder, but I really failed. (I still remember it clearly: I was distracted by my opponent's disgusting acne. I also had a turns-out-justified case of impostor syndrome about my place on the team).

It certainly helps to set a pattern of unhealthy eating.

"You loser! Go eat an apple. Us winners are enjoying this delicious ice-cream".