I was going to try macports but the XCode download turn me off, why it can rely only on the command line tools?
In an ideal world, there would be a dependency declared on Xcode for all those ports so MacPorts would work with command line tools only and fail gracefully whenever Xcode is required. However, that is currently not the case because nobody implemented an easy and automated way to tell whether a port will build fine without Xcode.
I fully accept that I'm just being a complainer here, but in answer to the parents question, those are the mental blocks for me.