I honestly would say MOST people who reach for threads do so instinctively, not after actual analysis of what type of concurrency would serve the project they're at best.
Lots of devs come from the java world or windows world where threads are done all the time but multiprocess concurrency is rare.
I'd say that out of the projects I've seen people grab for threads, only about 10-15% actually need the type of heavily shared data or marginally smaller memory footprint that threading gives you. Of the rest of them, it was a toss up, or leaned towards the simplification of data structures, easier porting to multiple processors and overall less complex components that IPC gives you.
Additionally, I'd contend you're doing something wrong if you see a HUGE increase when you go from threads-> multiprocessed solutions. Usually you just see a small overhead increase unless you're doing something questionable like loading data structures over and over in all processes and the like.
May I recommend Stevens Unix Network Programming Vol 2: IPC to see some common designs of MP programs? You may see some large memory footprint gains by just looking through some of the programs in that book and rethinking your processing/responsibilities of your different processes.
I by no means think EVERYTHING should be multiprocessed, I just think MOST things can be equally well done with threads or processes, and MANY programmers have never seen multiprocess programs, especially large multiprocess programs, where most have worked in multithreaded programs (where there are more than 1 user threads).
Having worked with both, the errors you see in multiprocess programs are MUCH more traceable and manageable. Multi-threading errors can take months to debug sometimes, and weeks to even get a good reproduction scenario for. Then again, for a SMALL amount of concurrency, threading is simpler to setup and do for sure.