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This is great:

GraphQL has nothing to do with graphs.

OpenCypher has nothing to do with ciphers.

Clearly, I need to start a project named 'GraphCypher,' which is a new, high-performance, HTTP2 server.

I actually laughed out loud at this, although given the requirement for TLS, at least it would involve encryption.

hmmm....guess it will have to be a javascript framework then. Pivot! :)

Extra golden seeing your username - I bet you are a ruby dev? :D