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Comment by pen2l | Hacker News Reader

Take a two month long vacation[1], and then do it somewhere toward the end.

[1]: Yes yes, not everyone has the luxury to be able to do that. But frankly, I've found that with a healthy amount of planning it is possible. E.g. I'm planning to take a 2 month long vacation next summer... I know already my boss probably won't let me, but I don't care! I'll quit if I have to! Already have an eye out for new gigs! This is like what people say about exercising -- you don't have time? Make time for it. The POTUS can find time to exercise, probably you can too.

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Most people can't afford to take a 2 month vacation unless they already have a high paying job. Sure, most people can reduce their living expenses a lot but only so much.

That's not even considering the fact that planning a pregnancy like that isn't feasible, especially for older couples - who are the ones who had enough time to save up for a two month vacation. Pregnancy doesn't work like that, it can take months to years and that's not even considering 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage.

The idea pregnancy should be instant is harmful and leads to anxiety in itself.

I don't have a very high-paying job. I'm able to take the vacation because of (a) specifically saving for it and (b) planning a lot; took care of airfare almost an year earlier (in fact the location I chose was because of airfare deals), arranged place to live, and so on forth.

> That's not even considering the fact that planning a pregnancy like that isn't feasible, especially for older couples

I'm getting off-topic here but I really want to say this: the biggest reason I see Valley as being evil is it forces everyone to delay having kids. Have kids early, there will be less problems. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_syndrome#/media/File:Down... There's a huge amount of research that suggests having kids earlier (e.g. at age 30 or earlier vs. age 40) is better for so many reasons.

I'm sure you have a job that's higher than median income because most of us here do.

So you are expected to have a life partner AND save up enough for a long vacation all before you are 30. That's a ton of pressure to put on young person.

Delaying childbearing has quite a bit of disadvantages but also its advantages. Even young people can't snap their fingers and instantly have a healthy pregnancy. That's not how pregnancy works.

As a person who started a family later in life (33), I agree with the OP that starting sooner would be good for more people. I wish I had.

Yes it's hard to find a life mate, but many generations did it before us.

The challenge is what policy levers are there to make it workable? My pet peeve is housing cost. In the Valley, NYC, and Boston, housing is so expensive that you need a career that can pay large salaries. Places like Austin, this is much less of a problem.

Also, I think it would be smart for a more frank discussion about the challenges of delayed parenthood. It's great that Facebook is paying for egg-freezing, but IVF is still super risky, financially impactful, stressful in its own right, and very uncomfortable.

Well, b) is what's hard for most people. You can only plan so many things before life overwhelms you. I personally know I can't plan shit.

But many in Europe can take at least 1 month.

I doubt this will work, given that it usually takes multiple attempts to concieve.

The two month vacation would be nice, but there's nothing to guarantee that the child will be concieved at the 'correct' time.

Pre-paternity leave

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