#1
CEO: We just closed a XX million dollar Series C funding round!
-- later at an a company wide meeting ---
CEO: we have zero revenue. if we asked our customers to pay us, they would drop our product in a second... so, uh, we really don't have product market fit yet.
me: ...
CEO: no worries. we are attacking such a large market. surely we'll find something. and when we do it will be HUGE... it'll be... it'll be... it's so huge I'm having trouble even describing it!
#2
-- at an important weekly product meeting --
CEO: okay it's been ten minutes. where is [cofounder]
CTO: oh he's in china for the week.
CEO: ...
CTO: On vacation.
everyone else: ... (your cofounder didn't tell you that?)
#3
me: your company name "cadabra" sounds like cadaver.
ceo: nah, dude.
me: you had to spell it out when I asked you to pronounce it.
ceo: nah, we just need to hire more marketing people.
#4
wannabe designer: so tell me how you approach design.
me: well I really like being apart of the process from start to finish, since I've also done UX wor--
designer: great, let me tell you how we do design here. i draw up the stuff and you do it, unless there's a technical problem. you can argue and you will be wrong, ha ha.
me: you're joking right?
designer: * proceeds to create barely passable UIs *
And the list goes on. I have plenty of more stories to share but I am currently busy seeking employment elsewhere.
Shameless plug: If you're looking for an American android developer (10,000+ install base on play store), or a front end web developer ( Tech Giant), a back python/java developer ( past startups ), let's talk shop at snarkyhackernewsuser@gmail.com.