The clouds in the background are dynamically rendered. They're animating seven images of clouds using CSS transforms, and it doesn't look like they're using CSS animations to do it. If your computer is going into jet engine mode, chances are your browser isn't on speaking terms with your GPU and everything is being rendered on your CPU.

It is disgusting a webpage with that little content makes it that fucking unusable.

Come on people. Pretty designs are meaningless if you can't actually use them. How can I have faith in the claims you make about your phone if your website is this unusable? This exact form-over-function is why I hate the modern web.

More people need to see http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/ and understand.

Rendering one line of text on each page fold is a difficult task. Think of all the strokes in a single letter!

I'm on a Macbook Air in Chrome and can barely scroll.

Do you have a good GPU?