Regarding using 3rd party libraries: you don't simply "reference a library". You include their source code into your project, and compile them together.

Ideally, both your project and the referenced library should be using CMake, and the library's CMake file should be referenced from your project's CMake file. If the library doesn't use CMake, you write a CMake file for it.

This is the only approach that worked well for me on all platforms. So, save yourself the trouble and just use CMake. Yes, I know it has a horrible language, but it's like the PHP of build systems: it works and lots of existing libraries use it, making it easier to use them in your own project.