1. People are telling the truth, but theres selection bias. Remember the software world is very broad. A software engineer at Logitech doesn't make nearly as much as one at Google.
2. People are liars. It's really rare for an engineer at Google to make over $200k.
I can sympathize with the first point (which I think is what you are saying), but I have also seen the second point. People get angry when they realize they are underpaid. The truth is that startups take advantage of people. Most engineers don't realize this. If talented engineers in the valley all realized what the opportunity cost of working for a startup is, then startups would have to start paying closer to what BigCos pay. And that's a good thing. It means those of us trapped by golden handcuffs at BigCos (mortgage, kids, whatever) have alternatives.