In fairness, shakeshack has a wonderfully simple version that loads for me with noscript on.
(This suggests that on an iPhone, you're toast if you surf there.)
The nearby Standburger does much better, and their toasted marshmallow shake is the wife's favorite anyhow.
@Mikeryan, you are completely right. I was going there as you replied. I edited my post above to note that.
Weirdly, Tabla (same owner) does not have an alternative website for mobile.
Kudos to them for handling this well.