Indeed, the relativism of all of this is very important.

Can you put your finger on what you boss does that is unacceptable? Is it because of:

* the way she/he makes decisions? * the way she/he provides feedback? * the way she/he defines success for your tasks? * the way she/he socializes?

If you uncover the underlying behavior that could be better, this should help you do a bunch of things:

* Decide for yourself how you would handle these situations * "Manage up", by framing what you bring to your boss differently and giving feedback, if possible * Learn not to behave in this way for others * Recognize these traits in others more quickly so you can get ahead of the behavior and in the worst case avoid those people.

I know none of this answers your question. To find an environment that you thrive in might take a good bit of trial and error over the years, plus a good bit of "character building."