I've been leading. I've gotten rid of basically everything I can get rid of without asking for permission, and that has inspired my wife to clean up some of her stuff too. It took my about two years, but now I've gotten to the hard stuff, and -- surprise! -- it's harder than throwing away a box of old papers.

(Oh, and no offense, but telling my wife "we're getting rid of this television come hell or high water" would have been... less than successful in the long run. Every relationship is different. Good luck with yours.)