For the most part, if you get your minimum protein (80-120g depending on lean mass) and stay under 100g sugars a day, calories are calories. You should take in an appropriate amount for your lean body weight on average.

All of that said, it isn't easy, but there are many calorie tracker apps you can use to help. Once you start tracking everything it becomes pretty easy to be mindful of what you're taking in... it's not always easy to think in terms of how many calories certain meals have. It's okay to have a 1200 calorie meal once in a while, but it's not okay to have a 1200 calorie meal twice a day, with a few snacks, soda/sugar-coffee, etc. It all adds up.

That and sugar is one of the most inflammatory things you can take into your body, especially refined sugars. Refined oils aren't much better though.