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Comment by squeaky-clean | Hacker News Reader

I know this is article is humor, but it's also pretty spot-on for me (maybe a lot of us here). Most of my friends don't seem to understand the extents to which I overthink everything.

"Just ask. The worst that can happen is they say 'No', and by not asking, you're already giving yourself a no."

I get this advice a lot and particularly hate it. Getting a "No" is not the worst that can happen. A meteor hitting the earth is the worst that can happen (or maybe snakes, or crossfit). Worst that's actually happened to me? You go up to say something to someone, stutter a few times, throw up in your mouth a little, and then run away.

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Having done a lot of coffees I'd say "yes" is overlooked as a possible worst thing that could happen.

This. Exactly this.

A meteor isn't going to hit the Earth because you asked someone something. The worst that can happen because you decide to ask someone something? You go up to say something to them, stutter a few times, throw up in your mouth a little, and then they say "No".

(You're free to think that's worse than not asking in the first place, of course, and therefore not bother, but then you give up on the possibility of "Yes". I'm terrible at adhering to this advice, but I know I want some "Yes"es in my life and there's only one way to get them.)

The worst that can happen because you decide to ask someone something? You go up to say something to them, stutter a few times, throw up in your mouth a little, and then they say "No".

They laugh at you, and all the people around turn around and it turns out they were listening and are friends, and also laugh at you.

You turn and look into the cafe window, the barista is staring at you and shakes their head patronisingly.

You feel a sudden panic attack coming on - maybe you've never had one before - it feels like your chest is in a vice, you can't breathe, you piss yourself and collapse on the floor. Someone calls 911.

An ambulance turns up, by which point you feel OK again. You have to explain to the paramedics that you had a panic attack because you asked someone to get coffee. Their faces.

Someone took their phone out and had been recording the events. Cloudy face recognition picks up who you are and tags your name onto the clip.

You are making your way home when the police call you; somewhere along the way the events have gone down in the paperwork as a fraudulent 911 call. Nobody can tell you how.

Your insurance company hears about it and your insurance is provided by your employer. You are laid off from work.

Right but in reality getting hit by lightning is more likely to happen to you than these events.

"No" is the second best answer you can hear, and many times it is the best one. The devil is in all those "may be".

One thing that works for me is to think how much I will regret not having tried when I had the chance. If it happens to you too, maybe those regretful feelings will be worse than give it a try and be embarrassed about the result (whatever it be).

I had the chance every day for 4 years. Every time it was easier to delay it.

For me imagining she says yes worked better. YMMV.

Upvoted for being the first comment I found that mentions the humor.

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