So I'm now set on trying to build my own lock. I'm thinking of just getting a really nice, mechanical deadbolt, and then building something similar in design to Lockitron, where it just sits on top of the deadbolt, augmenting it with digital authentication. For the keycards I plan to combine a low power MCU with NFC and Ed25519 cryptography for authentication. I found a variation of the MSP430 chips with built-in NFC capability which are designed to run battery-less (they harvest energy from the NFC signal). My rough calculations suggest that they'll be able to soak up enough power to do an Ed25519 signature in 0.25 seconds; fast enough for me. I'll just have the lock send a random challenge to the keycard, it responds with a signature of the challenge, and then the lock can verify the signature and confirm that the card is legit. It should be simple enough to mold the MSP430 and supporting electronics into a thin 1" diameter disc which I can hook to my keychain or put in my wallet. Awesome! The lock itself is just another MCU with NFC capabilities, battery, and motor.
That setup satisfies my desire for a convenient, digital lock, while maintaining real security (Ed25519 with real random challenges, versus existing RFID solutions which use 48-bit keys, 3DES, suffer replay attacks, etc). I'm surprised these things don't already exist. I only had to spend an hour to find the MSP430 chip variation and sketch out this system...